“I will be there!” cried Boris at Mayor’s Question Time. “I am Gandalf!”

Gandalf says: “Gandalf the Grey!  That was my name!    Gimli, emotionally: Gandalf!

Gandalf: “I am Gandalf the White.  And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.” The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings Trilogy.borisgandalfAt first. it was business as usual, with Boris making a hilarious joke to flatten John Biggs that Ken Livingstone wacked up fares immediately after the election, but now like Trotsky, he has been expunged from the photographs.  Then suddenly, things got serious.   For once the jokey, laconic barrier came down and the real Boris Johnson burst through.

Young demonstrators had been screaming their heads off at him,  the man who through sheer force of will has,  practically single handed, saved the London economy and revived the jobs market.  The knock on effect has been felt throughout the whole of the UK. ” You don’t care,” they yelled, “you don’t care, oh stop it, stop laughing!”  In the end, they were carried out by the ushers.  Boris was laughing. What the protestors didn’t know was that inside, how very much he believes in what he is doing was about to break out.

It is the turn of the tide.  The fate of the country is teetering on a knife’s edge.  Never ever has it been more important for the people to realise that Tory policy of getting the economy right, so you can care for those who cannot care for themselves and help the dependent become independent, is the policy that must win through.

Maybe the ignorance of the protestors sliced through the impeturbability that Boris wears like armour.  He was being challenged by Green Jenny Jones over his plans for a low-emissions zone, which will not be introduced in the capital until the end of the next Parliament, insisting it would happen.

“You won’t be here” said Jenny reasonably.  “I WILL be here” said Boris with sudden unaccustomed passion.   In some form or another I WILL be here!  I am like Gandalf!   I will be translated into some new form, more powerful than I can possibly imagine. I will be here and we will make sure that under the ultra-low emissions zone there will be no bus that goes through town that is not a hybrid with very low emissions!”

Jenny Jones then said Boris fiddled the figures on clean air, and riposted “You talk rubbish!” I don’t talk rubbish, said Boris, on a roll.    “You talk rubbish. I recycle rubbish, I dispose of rubbish. We get rid of it. We use it to create clean, green renewable energy.”

The more perceptive members of the London Assembly were staring at Boris with amazement.  And then, phuuuutttt! Like one of Gandalph’s spells, the armour was back on and jokey, equanimical Boris morphed back into place.

2 responses to ““I will be there!” cried Boris at Mayor’s Question Time. “I am Gandalf!”

  1. Boris extra witty today, loved the Trotsky joke! Demo quite disgusting, and they don’t have a clue about politics.

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