Boris Johnson is a guest writer in the Sun this week! Here is a taster of his brilliant writing. “ONCE there was a happy-go-lucky fellow who lived in a higgledy-piggledy house at the end of the street, in a gorgeous spot.He lived on stuff like olives and feta and honey, and people used to love going to see him.Though frankly, they could never work out how he made a living. His name was Costas.
Most of his neighbours lived in posher houses — semis and even mansions, and one day Costas heard they were all proposing to form a new club.
It was going to be a golf club and it was going to be superb.
There would be perfect greens, emerald fairways and a snazzy clubhouse with inglenooks and comely barmaids and heaven knows what.
Now Costas, as I say, had never been especially well-off. But he yearned to be a member of that club.
All his neighbours were joining, and frankly he didn’t see how he could live on that street — how he could hold his head up in public! — if he failed to join at the same time.
So with pounding heart he filled in the form.
There was a bit where they asked if he had any debts and he sort of fudged that. Then there was a bit where they asked his income and he thought of a number and trebled it.
Then he came to the bit about fees. His eyes bulged. The fees were extortionate! There were green fees, caddy fees and then he would have to pay to hire his golf clubs.
He winced, and the club secretary saw his distress. “Don’t worry,” said the golf club secretary soothingly.
“I am sure the richest member will be only too happy to lend you the money. He makes most of the golf clubs in the world.”
Yippee, said Costas, and he signed up. And for a while it went swimmingly. With the help of ever-more extravagant loans from the richest member (a billionaire German sporting goods manufacturer), he fitted in perfectly with the rest of the membership.
He bought all sorts of clobber in the club shop: Fancy checked golfing trousers, spiked shoes and precision-engineered German golf clubs, complicated mashie-niblicks he didn’t need or understand.
It wasn’t long, however, before he began to realise he had bitten off more than he could chew.
His debts to Klaus (the richest member) were getting out of control.