The Greeks are in ‘the golf club from hell’ says Boris Johnson in The Sun

Boris Johnson is a guest writer in the Sun this week!  Here is a taster of his brilliant writing.  “ONCE there was a happy-go-lucky fellow who lived in a higgledy-piggledy house at the end of the street, in a gorgeous spot.He lived on stuff like olives and feta and honey, and people used to love going to see him.boriscostaThough frankly, they could never work out how he made a living. His name was Costas.

Most of his neighbours lived in posher houses — semis and even mansions, and one day Costas heard they were all proposing to form a new club.

It was going to be a golf club and it was going to be superb.

There would be perfect greens, emerald fairways and a snazzy clubhouse with inglenooks and comely barmaids and heaven knows what.

Now Costas, as I say, had never been especially well-off. But he yearned to be a member of that club.

All his neighbours were joining, and frankly he didn’t see how he could live on that street — how he could hold his head up in public! — if he failed to join at the same time.

So with pounding heart he filled in the form.

There was a bit where they asked if he had any debts and he sort of fudged that. Then there was a bit where they asked his income and he thought of a number and trebled it.

Then he came to the bit about fees. His eyes bulged. The fees were extortionate! There were green fees, caddy fees and then he would have to pay to hire his golf clubs.

He winced, and the club secretary saw his distress. “Don’t worry,” said the golf club secretary soothingly.

“I am sure the richest member will be only too happy to lend you the money. He makes most of the golf clubs in the world.”

Yippee, said Costas, and he signed up. And for a while it went swimmingly. With the help of ever-more extravagant loans from the richest member (a billionaire German sporting goods manufacturer), he fitted in perfectly with the rest of the membership.

He bought all sorts of clobber in the club shop: Fancy checked golfing trousers, spiked shoes and precision-engineered German golf clubs, complicated mashie-niblicks he didn’t need or understand.

It wasn’t long, however, before he began to realise he had bitten off more than he could chew.

His debts to Klaus (the richest member) were getting out of control.

For the rest of this thrilling but cautionary tale, click here.

 

4 responses to “The Greeks are in ‘the golf club from hell’ says Boris Johnson in The Sun

  1. Hmm….Interesting little vitriolic attack on Greece, once again, by no other than Boris Johnson.
    Being as it is, with my first name Costas, I was most amused when I first read his rant.
    His main criticism is on Greece being included in a membership club (E.U.) despite Greece’s major debts. I’m just wondering, though, has Boris finally agreed his very own huge tax bill to the US government ahead of his visit to America, despite previously insisting he would not bow to the “absolutely outrageous” in the region of £100,000?

    Just saying, Boris.
    Kind regards,
    Costas,

    • Costas, am sorry you are offended, I really cannot see why though. Boris’s article is hardly a rant. Pleasant story about a Greek called Costas, who seems to have been taken advantage more than anything!

      Boris has sorted out his his problem with the IRS. He had to go to the US on urgent business for the UK. Rather than create an awkward situation, he has paid the tax bill. Kind regards, angela.

  2. Hi Angelnstar,
    I wouldn’t say that I took the article to heart so much, however it did hit a nerve, in an ironic sort of way, given of course that my actual name is Costas.
    Having said that, I was admittedly taken aback with the overall tone of his penning of the article, which is somewhat sardonic and very much pontificating.
    Especially, when Boris himself has some skeletons in his own closet, in so far as tax avoidance.
    I’ve been living and work in the U.K. over the last 4 years (I’m a Housing Support Worker, for a homeless organisation) and pay my taxes to the British Government.
    There is a huge problem in Greece at the moment and no on can deny that.
    I’d expect to read a more constructive analysis from someone, an Economist or a Financial Editor, rather than a mockery by using the more Greek (Costas) and German (Klaus) name to prove a point.

    Thanks very much!
    Kind regards,
    Costas

  3. I honestly do not think it was meant to be sardonic or pontificating! I read it as a pop at the EU!

    Please forgive me if I explain, Boris is one of the few politicians who never has and never would practice tax avoidance. He has no skeletons in his closet in this regard. During the mayoral elections, he was asked to produce his tax returns and they were squeaky clean. unlike Ken Livingstone’s.

    https://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/boris-never-has-and-never-would-practice-tax-avoidance/

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