The boiler in the Johnson family home has conked out and our Mayor is swathed in jumpers and a green woolly hat as he writes. He has to invest in a new boiler. Sometimes, you have to shell out a huge amount to save money in the future.Boris begins: “Brrrrr! It’s freezing in here. As I write these words I am wearing my new green bobble hat (present from my mother-in-law) as well as three jumpers. I have found an old electric heater that is producing a strong smell of burning fluff but not much warmth.
I am jiggling my toes and blowing on my fingers – and I am contemplating the eternal dilemma of inadequate infrastructure. In the case of this house, the central heating has packed up. That is to say, our boiler – after more than 14 years of roaring combustion – has conked. Its fires have died.
None of my patent remedies has worked. I have bashed it and blown on it. I have fiddled with the reset button. I have flipped every switch in every conceivable order like some demented organist and – nothing. Not a glimmer. And now the brilliant heating engineer has come to tell me that if this old boiler were a dog, it would be time for it to be humanely put down.