Boris discusses the wheelie-bin lady in his latest Daily Telegraph article and says what he would like to do to her. It involves taking her to Tanzania, which is kind, but then he proposes leaving her within reach of a pride of lions. Good thinking.
No, he doesn’t want her to be gobbled up, it is all about teaching her to respect nature, which is actually a very good solution to the maelstrom of fury and hatred that greeted the lady for chucking a moggie into a wheelie-bin. I used to be wary of cats myself but I had a good reason. When I was a baby, a cat came and sat on my pram, actually on my face, and nearly smothered me to death. I had a touch of cat phobia, (ailurophobia) during my earliest years.
I was cured by our neighbour’s moggie, Basher. Basher was a large, one eared, ginger tom who hated everyone, except for some reason, me. He made a beeline for me on our first meeting, and plonked himself on my lap and went to sleep. For some reason, this didn’t seem scary as I expected. For ever after, he would do the same thing. If I had stuff on my lap, he would cuddle into my side, or put a huge paw on my knee, squinting at me with green cross-eyes. When he died I cried, and so when I read about the wheelie-bin lady there was no pity in my heart for her feeble excuses. I believe the RSPCA should prosecute her and if she is convicted, she should do at least a month of community service. It is no excuse to argue “I didn’t know what I was doing”. That is the serial killer’s excuse.
Apparently Boris and his family were in Tanzania recently, and for a while, Boris himself was left at the mercy of a pride of lions. Boris, there is absolutely no way a King of the Jungle is going to bite a piece out of you. Professional courtesy.