The ping pong game of death

It’s coming!  The sporting event that is more hotly anticipated than the Football World Cup and likely to be more exciting than the 2003 World Cup Rugby Final –  the Ping Pong Summer Tournament!

Our Mayor, heavily muscled, super-fit, super-competitive  Boris Johnson is to play lissom, electric heeled, equally competitive Seb Coe in the opening match of the summer tournament.   Achilles will wage war against Mercury, and the battle is bound to be to the death, with no quarter given.  Boris loves ping pong and plays every day in his lunch hour. The following matches will pit celebrities and artists against each other.

One hundred open-air ping pong tables will appear around London this summer and they are the brain child of Colette Hiller, who scattered 30 pianos round town last year, so that Londoners could play them.  Ping pong bats will be provided with each table, with the simple message on their handles “Please put me back”.  Locations for the matches include Terminal 5, the Albert Memorial, and Trafalgar Square.  Young British Artists, including the lovely Tracey Emin, will display their artwork on the tables.

Excitement is rising to fever pitch.  Boris is just as good at mental ping pong as the physical kind.   One thing is for sure,  London life under the benign rule of Mayor Boris is never dull.

6 responses to “The ping pong game of death

  1. Boris seems to be very light on his feet. I hope he kicks butt as well.

  2. The Coe/Ovett rivalry was one of the great sporting rivalries of all time. They were both so different.

  3. Neil, they are both so competitive, it is bound to be a fight to the death.

    Didn’t know Seb Coe was what you said, haha. He was a great runner, but I don’t know that much about him.

  4. Hat tipped to BoJo for this idea

    Seb Coe is a total twat of the first order so here hoping Boris kicks some butt

  5. Hilarious.

  6. This I have to see. They are both extremely competitive, it really will be to the death. I have heard that Boris is a very good player.

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