Should we judge public figures who play away?

There is a lot of finger pointing and judgmental rubbish aimed at public figures  who have affairs, but things aren’t always as straightforward as they seem.  It is impossible to explain what happens between two people, and anyway, sometimes couples know each other so well,  they accept each other totally, warts and all.  Surely this is up to them, and nothing to do with the general public?  
People have to be true to themselves, and you cannot have an honest relationship with someone unless you are totally yourself.  Equally, it is foolish to believe we can change men to fit the ideal of what we want in a man.  Some men have a naturally high libido.  They are alpha males, with high level energy and testosterone.  They also have a low boredom threshold, and need variety in their love  lives, and that can mean dual relationships .
If such men are  honest about themselves to the women they are attracted to,  the women have the option to get involved or not.  It is men who pretend they are single, or who pretend to love you which they might very well do, but also love someone else and don’t tell you, who are the bastards. Politicians who pose as pillars of society, when they have a mistress tucked away, and pretend to be lily white,  are total hypocrites, and more likely to deserve anything the press throw at them, but even they have a right to privacy.

Fulfilment by Gustav Kllimt

For me, it is all the women who are having unplanned babies, who are at fault.If the man is very endearing and amusing, they probably think it is worth a shot to try to get him to marry them, even though he has made it clear he just wants a fun time.  Watch Jeremy Kyle to see how many girls “hoped he’d marry me if I had a baby!”   Whatever your social standing, same thing. 
 Anyway, there are worse things than affairs.  A unloving, spiteful man for example, or a mean man, or a cruel man, or heaven help me, a judgmental, ultra-critical man would be so much worse. How about being with a man with whom you have no love life?  Cripes!  Or someone who was stuffy and boring!  And we are not perfect either.  What about the women who drive men mad, gold diggers, social climbers,  nagging women,  uncaring women, catty women……. No wonder the poor devils play away.
There are sometimes childhood reasons for men who only feel comfortable when they have more than one woman.  Comedian Russell Brand’s mother, whom he dearly loved, had cancer very badly.  She recovered, but it recurred several time, and he couldn’t cope with the fear and anguish.  I have often thought this might be the reason for his rampant compulsive womanising,  safety in numbers.  Sir James Goldsmith lost the love of his life in his early twenties and he was so traumatised that forever after, he had to have a wife and a backup.  Men who have cold mothers, and are brought up by nannies have the same problem.  Used to two women in their formative years,  they need two women for ever after, and it is recognised psychologically that this is the reason.  Children who suffer badly from a parental divorce also can be affected by insecurity issues, which cause them to have affairs in later life.
I have absolutely no idea how much of this, if anything applies to Boris Johnson, but  Boris  is known for his honesty and tolerance.  Shouldn’t everyone be entitled to make up their own minds about how they conduct their sex lives?  As long as they are honest, and have the acceptance of their partner, surely no-one else has the right to interfere?

6 responses to “Should we judge public figures who play away?

  1. We are free to vote for whom we like. Better just to judge people on the job they do.

  2. If they sacked everyone in the House of Commons who was having an affair, the benches would be empty. I bet three quarters of the politicians are having affairs.

    I don’t know why people think they have the right to judge other people. On how they do their job, yes. On what is happening in the bedroom, definitely no.

  3. I agree about the honesty thing though. Honesty is the most important thing of all.

  4. Boris is a million times better choice for Mayor than Ken.

  5. If Boris’s wife is OK with it and they stay together, it is nobody else’s business.

  6. Angel, you manage to make adultery seem like the only thing to do! No seriously, I do think that as you say, there is a lot more behind these situations than most people realise. I also agree with your point that it is up to you and your partner, and honesty is the best policy.

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