Door to door campaigning

Door to door campaigning doesn’t work but there are more effective methods.

In my humble opinion,  door to door campaigning is a waste of time.  If anyone was ever convinced to decide their vote over their doorstep, I would be amazed.  On the contrary, I think that many people are angered and irritated by someone canvassing for their vote on the doorstep, and they would do anything to avoid these calls.

I was watching The Politics Show today and the presenter said that statistics show that a candidate who did not have people campaigning for him door to door did better than when people did knock on doors for him. Hand out leaflets, sure, (and Chris Philp, potential MP for the Tories in Hampstead and Kilburn, your leaflet was fantastic, modern and eye catching, read it and weep Glenda).

It is much more effective to campaign within the community, which I do non-stop, but you have to use wit and charm not to tick people off.  Strike when they are vulnerable – when they have to spend a lot of unavoidable time with you, in a cab for example, in shops, in restaurants and cafes, on weekend trips or on a bus journey. You then have them at your mercy and can brainwash them at will.   Hospital patients are ideal, they are helpless and too weak to resist.  (this last is a joke).

If you are surrounded by Labour supporters and you live in a house with flats, who are violently opposed to you displaying pro-Tory material, this strategy is useful.  Send a note round to all your neighbours saying you intend to erect a 20 foot photo of Boris Johnson in your front garden, with many banners, and are asking if they would object.  When the other flat owners have ceased to squeak and scream like the Ringwraiths in Lord of the Rings, give in gracefully.  Enthuse how you would hate to upset them and lay it on with a trowel.   Tell them that you were never ever serious when you said you were going to broadcast his speeches on a loudhailer, (if you have to broadcast the speeches, limit the time to 15 minute bursts.)   As a compromise, ask if they will agree that you put up two Tory posters at the front, and a huge poster on a pole on your balcony at the back of the house.  They will fall into your power like ripe plums.

Ring up old boyfriends and tell them how you remember them  fondly.  Right at the end of the conversation, casually check that you can rely on their vote.  No matter how badly your party is doing, it is best to leave things at this stage.

If you vote for the Tories, you must conduct yourself with the utmost honour and always be totally ladylike.  You can leave any reprehensible behaviour to the other lot.

7 responses to “Door to door campaigning

  1. The party activists are to be commended for the dedication they have shown during this election, I have had at least 4 or 5 people knocking at my door. Didn’t make any difference, but they are trying.

  2. I find it annoying when parties do door to door canvassing. On the other hand, they know I am rabid Tory.

  3. An old Tory girl friend of mine rang me up the other day and she did check I was going to vote for Cameron

    Now I am looking at the conversation in a different light……

  4. I don’t like people coming to my door. Like the idea of broadcasting Boris’s speeches through a loudhailer.

  5. This is a tricky one. I agree that people find it irritating and it is hard to convince someone to vote on their own doorstep. On the other hand, in a close election like this one, you need to grab every opportunity.

  6. Good post – albeit written with humourous intent!

    Getting shot of the door-to-door visits can be difficult, however I have a solution that works: simply tell them not to waste their time with you because you’re going to be voting for their candidate anyway…even go as far as quoting the given party’s strapline or catchphrase to drum it home. They soon move on.

    Candidates who get out and about stand a better chance of engaging the voting public – whilst not a Tory, my local MP @willie_rennie is pretty active in the community and can often be seen in shopping arcades and out visiting remote villages.

    Indeed, candidates, imho, should be engaging the public using services like Facebook and Twitter – a lot is said over these two services alone, candidates wouldn’t be doing themselves any harm by listening to such services. Well, except Michael Connarty MP who has no idea:

    Fire up the Quattro…it’s time for change!

    • Hi Craig. Door to door campaigners don’t bother with me because they know who I vote for and that I am not going to change my mind. I am thinking more of floating voters and don’t knows. I agree that candidates who get out and about stand a better chance, it is just the knocking on doors that I don’t agree with. Candidates can go to town centres, local pubs, markets, that sort of thing, and engaging the public in this way works well, I am sure.

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