Johnson versus Johnson

Boris Johnson debated with Alan Johnson, as Policy Exchange  hosted a debate to argue the merits of Proportional Representation.  Boris’s speech was so screamingly funny, Conservative Home printed the speech in full.

Continually referring to Alan Johnson as “my cousin Alan”,  Boris said the best thing for Labour would be the speedy removal of Gordon Brown, “who waits, muttering with his head in his hands like Marlon Brando at the end of “Apocalypse Now”.

He referred to the “ludicrous rubber dagger plots” of Hoon and Hewitt. “Not since the waters retired from the face of the earth has this country seen such a display of protoplasmic invertebracy”.  “It is hard to believe that any system could produce a government more feeble. more indecisive, more racked by internal feuding and division”.   And on and on he went, reducing his audience to tears of hysterical laughter.  The Mayor concluded by saying “Hewitt blew it.  Hoon’s a buffoon,(…) they had their opportunity and they fluffed it”.

Needless to say, Boris won the debate, (by a marrow margin). Truly, this man must be the wittiest, most profound orator of our age.

10 responses to “Johnson versus Johnson

  1. Brilliant speech.

  2. Absolutely hilarious, but also bang on the nail.

  3. Boris is the best speaker in Parliament.

  4. “Not since the waters retired from the face of the earth has this country seen such a display of protoplasmic invertebracy”.

    Cant stop laughing 😀

  5. Neither can I. Gordon as Marlon Brando in the last scenes of “Apocalypse Now”! Absolutely priceless.

    The important thing is Boris, with jokes, absolutely nails Labour to the wall. The whole Tory Party should be doing that.

  6. Amazing stuff as usual. Kindest regards. orangy68 Rob.

  7. Rob, it is great to get such kind feedback. Thank you.

  8. This is a great speech.

  9. Boris Johnson is not in Parliament.

  10. xoddam, we all know that. He is Mayor of London. Don’t quite understand your comment, but welcome anyway.

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