The natives are revolting

Hoon and Hewitt stick their heads above the parapet! The inside story.

According to the London Standard, Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt launched a leadership coup and called for a secret ballot on the PM’s leadership. (report in today’s Standard.)

What really happened. Hoon and Hewitt were caught badmouthing Gordon and one of them called him a Big Cheese. They were immediately seized by Gordon’s Personal Guard, stripped, blind folded and thrown into a pitch dark cell. Meanwhile, their immediate families were rounded up and taken to the top of the Post Office Tower, in sub zero temperatures.

David Miliband has shown outstanding leadership skills in the crisis.  He has been fervently agreeing with whoever was the person to speak last.  Both Hoon and Hewitt have since “freely” pledged their loyalty and each is blaming the other for the vile slur on their noble leader.  “We worship Gordon” said a sobbing Mrs. Hewitt.  “Gordon is everything to us!” before being led away by a leather coated loyalist.

BREAKING NEWS.

Harriet Harman endorses Gordon.  “He’s like a lead balloon at an orgy” said the Deputy Leader.

6 responses to “The natives are revolting

  1. Labour split between those who want to slap Gordon silly and the rest who simply can’t stand him. A weeping Patricia Hewit said “He is my Sun and my Moon”.

  2. They are all now just getting on with the job, we are told. Andrew Neill on Daily Politics said today “Gordon is so charitable, so forgiving of his enemies….” That’s funny. I bet he is throwing a major hissy fit.

  3. It isn’t going to be very comfortable for Hoon and Hewitt from now on, is it?

    Also, I get the feeling that if they don’t dump Gordon now, they are definitely planning to do that after the election. In the unlikely, horrendous circumstance that Labour win, does that mean that we have ANOTHER unelected PM foisted on us?

  4. dawn, yes, when Peter Mandelson said “Gordon is relaxed” I laughed out loud! He obviously is the reverse of that, I think Mandy does it on purpose.

    But they are all just getting on with the job!!

    What the hell is Gordon doing letting himself be influenced by an oik like Ed Balls?

  5. Gordon looks like he is embalmed. Is he mentally and physically capable of running the countryanymore, because he doesn’t look it.

  6. God, they are revolting!

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